Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Back to Normal

The locals go back to work today after an explosive Easter weekend.


Easter is the number one holiday in Greece, far bigger than Xmas and the celebratory tradition in Kalymnos is for the young men to throw 3-kilo packages of dynamite off the mountainsides that surround the town.

This is thrilling for the first hour but after four days of non-stop bombardment we now know exactly how grim life was in the Flanders trenches of 1916.

As they say in Scotland, "Gies Peace!"

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Change of colours

All the yellow flowers seem to be on their way out... dying.



But it also seems the time of pink is upon us. Good news wethinks

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Death of Goat

So, the neighbour's bonus raffle goats we mentioned yesterday got dispatched this morning. Here's how it went:

Don't worry - there's nothing too graphic in the minute and-a-half-long film, although its probably slightly disturbing if you're a vegan.

OOPS!
VIDEO REMOVED FOR EDITING
back soon...

Sad, eh?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Last Meal for These Two

The guy from next door spent five Euros on raffle tickets and came up trumps, winning two goats for Easter.

The neighbours don't have a garden so they're staying for one night in our garden before the killer comes tomorrow to turn them into meat.

See how keenly they feed themselves on our weeds!


So this is an Easter picture of a Last Supper although the difference between these goats and Jesus is that Jesus knew what was going to happen to him.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

A launch

OK - part of the point of being here is to create websites and become internet millionaires. Ha ha ha!

We can now present the first of our efforts. It's an entertainment site called Wankerparty.com and it's all about masturbation and how much fun it can be. Latest words, news and stories make up the site. Have a look at Wankerparty.

It's run by a guy called Chas Diamond, who looks uncannily like Paul



God only knows if this will be popular but if not, then there are plenty more ideas in the pipeline.

If you think it's a good idea - then tell your friends.
If you think it's a terrible idea - then tell your friends.
If you have any better ideas - then tell us!

Death Row - One Week To Live

Kalo Pascha!

That's what Greeks will be saying to each other this time next week, it means "Happy Easter".



Happy for them, as Lent comes to an end and they may eat meat again.

Not so happy for the chap above, for exactly the same reasons.

All over the town, sheep like this are waiting in gardens with rope around their legs and they don't even know why.

It's like one big oblivious death row!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Learn Greek - word for WOOD


OK - Time for another lesson in the world's least intensive Greek course.

Today - it's the word for wood - xylos.

In small Greek letters this is ξyloς.

In capitals: ΞYLOΣ

The picture above is a sign for a ΞYΛOYPΓEION - which is xylourgeion or wood-work shop. There's quite a few of these places on Kalymnos, churning out doors and windows and shelf units and so on.


Xylos is pretty easy to remember as being the word for wood because xylophones are made out of wood.



See?

Easy!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Curiosity...

I say, what's that in the back of that wee truck bike thing?



Oh, it's a pile of cats.


Cute.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Priestly Powerplay

One minute this priest is keeping a guy in his place with a subtle right hand.

And as soon as he knows he's getting snapped, there he is, looking the other way, folding his hands, whistling through his beard... pretending it never happened:

What does it mean?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Learn Greek - letter Δ and word for street

OK, here we go again with the world's least intensive Greek course.
Today we see that ODOS mean road. Yeah - that triangle is called "delta" and it's kind of like the letter D.

You pronounce it with your tongue-tip against your front teeth so it sounds almost like "th" but not as soft. Like "this" rather than "thing".

Anyway - you can remember that Δ is a D because of the name delta. A river delta is a triangle. Δ is for Delta, see?

And you can remember that odos is the the word for road because of odometers - the posh name for a mileometer on your car dashboard.

Just how on Earth NTAPΓOYIN = Darwin, we'll have to deal with another day.

Until next time - don't study too much!

Friday, April 11, 2008

Athletic Sport Victory

Every Thursday, before our weekly shopp at Marinopolous, Paul runs the 400 metres at the Kalymnos Municipal Sports Stadium.


The times have been coming down - resulting in a personal best every week!
  • 13 March 1 min 4.3 sec
  • 20 March 1 min 2.8 sec
  • 27 March1 min 0.5 sec
  • 3 April 55.6 sec
  • 10 April 53.8 sec
So in five weeks Paul has taken more than ten seconds off his time.

Now he is only ten seconds off Michael Johnson's world record (43.18) and there are just under four months left until the Olympic Games.

That's 16 weeks - so Paul needs to shave off 0.625 seconds from his time every week from now on to be at world record pace in time for the games.

It can be done!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Learn Greek with Paul and Nicole

Right.

We've been here for five months and our Greek is shocking. Maybe some effort is required. You can learn with us.

But, as they say, siga-siga, which means "slowly"

So let's learn - a bit at a time. Let's start of with the word for chemist or pharmacy.

There it is - Farmakeio. Pretty much the same word as pharmacy.

See? Easy!

Stick with us - and you'll learn Greek in no less than ten years.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Billie Piper Sells Greek Fags

Did you ever wonder what happened to Chris Evans's first wife?


Here she is in Greece, using her good looks to punt tobacco.

Amazing pop fact: Franz Ferdinand singer Alex Kapranos used to be in a band called The Karelia
named after this precise brand of Greek cigarettes.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Casually Taking The Sheep for a Walk

Check this scene from from the other day. Just a nomral everyday guy, acting real casual, real cool.

Just taking his sheep for a walk.

There are a lot of sheep around the town at the moment. Probably because Easter is only a few weeks away...

The sheep seem to enjoy being centre of attention. They have absolutely no idea of the fate which lies in store for them in just three weeks time.

Muaah ha ha ha ha ha!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Dead Cats

There are a lot of dead cats around at the moment.



Maybe people drive faster at this time of year. Perhaps the pussies are too busy thinking about sex to pay attention to the traffic. It is spring, after all.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Where are we?

Check our new poll, at the left. Do YOU know where Greece is?


Rmember to be honest!

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Broken Model

As ever - there is much to be learned from the island's window dressers.

Here's an innovative diaroma in the chemist near the post office in which a fashion mannequin models the very latest in bandages, braces and supports.

He looks cool. Doesn't it just make you want to run out and jump under a truck?

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

The Big Cross is Watching You

We love the great big concrete cross up on the mountain at Ayios Savvas.

This thing is huge - we really need to get a picture that includes a human being standing at the base so you can see the scale of it.

It must be at least 30 feet tall and you can see it from everywhere down in the town.

At night time they light it up with great big spotlights so that at any given time of day you can witness the power of God.

It reminds you who your daddy is... The Greek Orthodox Church!

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Property Opportunity?

Kalymnos in general and Pothia in particular are full of wrecked old houses. With a sign attached saying "poleitei" - which means "for sale".

Here's an example:

You could probably pick up a property bargain but you would have to

  • chase the snakes out
  • pull out the plants,
  • put a roof on,
  • instal plumbing
  • get windows
  • get doors

The upside is that you'd probably get on one of those TV shows.

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